Afghanistan

I am back from my tour of duty in Afghanistan! Yes, I know some of you my have thought the US Army had a height restriction; however I was able to enter under radar with flying colors. I served one tour in Southern Afghanistan flying with Gnomad Fossett protecting the poppy fields.

My adventure began by protecting a care package that would be shipped from the local USPS. I traveled from California at night lying next to candy and dental floss. My mind began to think how I might look under the xray machine; however I had no time to stray from my mission.

My mission was clear... I would be soon flying over foreign lands the most foreign lands that any other Gnome would mustard the guts to agree to poss for the most adventurous picture of their wee little life.

Growing up on the shelve in a Westwood Barnes and Nobel, I would have never dreamed that I would one day serve under the blanket of military protection and fly in an active combat zone.

I landed and was greeted by Gnomad Fossett (named from the late aviation extraordinaire). Gnomad Fossett gave me a rundown of the flight plan and mission and off we went out to the wild blue yonder.

Here is an excerpt from the email Gnmad Fossett send to Gnomad Princess Consuela Bananahammock describing my adventure:

This is West flying over the Panjaway District in southern Afghanistan about a 20 minute flight west of Kandahar. The fields that are green are poppy fields just before harvesting season. West is standing behind my M4 rifle- I think he was scared. You can't drink in Afghanistan as well so he was really wanting a cold beverage. The pic where he is looking back I think he said WTF but I couldn't hear him over the rotor noise. We were out there for about 5 hours patrolling the area. Nothing eventful but I think he got the idea of what we do. He flew in the OH-58D(R) Kiowa Warrior. It's a scout/attack helicopter and that day we had a .50 Cal machine gun and a 7 shot rocket pod with 2.75 inch high explosive rockets. It was a hot day of fun. We hit 95 degrees I think that day. I can't West out of my office since then. He says he just wants to sit under the AC and listen to the radio. So that's cool with me. I'm gonna take him on the flight line for a while and let him see all of our helicopters. I'll have him meet a few more of my friends and then I'll put back on a plane to California!

I was safely returned to Gnomad Princess Consuela Bananahammock and have returned to my civilian life and adventure travel. My new saying "YOU DON'T KNOW YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

West the Gnome

Finally updating

Hello fellow Gnomads!

Yes, it has been a very long time since the blog has been updated. The Gnomes have been on some awesome adventures and many have seen the pictures upon their return; however finding the time to blog about the adventures has been a challenge. Once the Gnomes return to home it seems like they don't have any time to even unpack their suitcases and sober up before their off to another adventure with a waiting Gnomad. Good news is that all the Gnomes and Gnomads are living life to the fullest and from the pictures and stories that have been shared.

So please be patient while the blog is being updated, and if you have any pictures that need to be submitted please email me.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Hermosa Beach!

I can't begin to blog about the wonderful time I had accompanying Gnomad Princess Consuela Banana Hammock to a wedding shower at a local bar in Hermosa Beach called "The Hermosa Saloon". Gnomad Princess Consuela Banana Hammock showed me the greatest hospitality as did the other patrons of "the saloon". I loved that I was Gnomenapped and had more photo ops with my new friends, Sorry Princess Consuela Banana Hammock I now know I must let you know if I am going to the other side of the bar to spread my "Gnome Love". I may have drank a wee too much, but a cab was called to safely transport all that were involved.

La Conte The Gnome

Grand Opening of the Lynda and Stewart Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital

This Gnome can admit when he is jealous, and YES I was when West the Gnome come home from the training and tour of our new home. I have heard of the wonderful deck and the state of the art patient rooms complete with their own bathrooms.

So when I was invited to join Gnomads Princess Consuela Banana Hammock, Troublemaker and Gnome No One at the grand opening of the Lynda and Stewart Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital I was so jazzed.

What a delightful time was had by all. We are all good Gnomes and Gnomads. We behaved ourselves by wearing "church clothes" and keeping our "Irish Whispers" at a whisper we even had water at the cocktail hour! We were on our best Gnome and Gnomad behavior to much the surprise of the others.

We did see the Resnick's and all the heads of the hospital, along with residents and nurses.

We enjoyed a warm late afternoon nonETOH cocktail party on, as West the Gnome posted before, the beautiful 4West deck complete with the wonderful view of Westwood.

Tanks for the invite Gnomads I truly enjoyed myself.

La Conte The Gnome

The New Home of the NPI!

I was able to join Gnomad Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and Gnomad Troublemaker for a fun filled day of training and touring of our new home 4 West in the Lynda and Stewart Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital. Our new unit is beautiful! Every one of the patient rooms is private with their own bathrooms and flat screen TVs. The deck is amazing! It is about three times the size of our deck in the NPI, with a beautiful view of Westwood. It is going to be lovely during the Summer months sitting out on the deck with the patients gazing out to Westwood with the buildings all light up like Christmas trees. I love that we will call 4 West our new home. Anywhere that contains West in the name must be a great place!

West The Gnome

Alert the Media... WOODY THE GNOME IS MISSING!

Has anyone seen my twin Woody? He has gone missing. The official travel coordinator has question all the possible Gnomads to no avail. If you or anyone you know has seen my twin please don't hesitate to send an anonymous email to 5150gnome@gmail.com. I can not rest until the return of my twin. Please take a minute to study this picture of Woody. The search party has seized. This Gnomad at large that has taken Woody for their own personal pleasure will be dealt with in front of the Gnomad committee. I can not post any details of Woody's last trip due to it would give the Gnomad identity away to fellow Gnomads. I think posting about the Gnomenap will be enough pressure to have the guilty Gnomad to return Woody safely. If you would like to remain anonymous then please return Woody to me personally or place Woody in my mailbox on the unit. Thank you for your time.

West The Gnome

Cruising South America!

We Gnomes talk about all our adventures. While talking with other gnomes I have long dreamed of the day when I would be asked to join a Gnomad on a cruise. I did have lots of questions, for one would I become sea sick? Would I get a sunburn? Would I find my sea legs?

To my delight I was asked to join Gnomad Cupcake, Gnomad Shenanigan and Gnomad McPhee on a South American cruise. I saw many sights, found my sea legs, used SPF50 and enjoyed many "drinks of the day". I saw Florida, Honduras and Belize. I enjoyed sunning on the beach and having the cabana boy fetch my drinks. I would highly advise any fellow Gnomads to partake in a cruise.

La Conte the Gnome